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How the World Cup and Wimbledon might spark a deep and meaningful relationship!

Picture credit: Shine 2010 World Cup

 

Thereís something Iíve got to tell you.  I know, itís not gonna make me popular, but what the heck, Iíll say it anyway.

Here goes:

I donít give a crap about the World Cup. 

Yea, thatís right.  I couldnít care less. 

OK. 

Since Iíve started,  Iíll carry on. 

Wimbledon.  I donít care about that either. 

No.  Not at all.

To me, itís nothing.  A non-event.  Meaningless. 

Iím not interested. 

Thank you and goodbye.

Wait!  Donít go yet, I wanna tell you more.

Picture credit:  Evil Erin

Hereís what I do love:

People.  Connection. Conversation.

People.  I love people. 

Not just any old (!) people - kind, generous, interesting, giving, thoughtful, open-minded, bright people.  People who know who they are and what theyíre about.  People who stand for something.  People who care about things bigger than themselves.

Connection.  I love connection. 

Not pointless, fake-it, pretend weíre interested in each other kind of connection.  You know, the sort that comes about when people feel forced to conform to someone elseís agenda, or play a role (canít stand those kinds of connections, can you?).

No, Iím talking about making real contact.  When we both reach out, find the stuff that matters, and start to build our relationship around that.  Thatís how you get real friendship, right? (like in that film E.T., or in Toy Story?)

And conversation.  I love conversation. 

Not just any old conversation - I usually donít like too much of the superficial kind (though Iím bloody good at it when I want to be, oh yes, probably a lot better than most of you! Ha!).

No, I want us to talk about the big stuff.  And I mean the big stuff.  Stuff so big it makes the Large Hadron Collider look like a paper clip.

Picture credit:  Shine 2010 World Cup

I want us to push giant ideas back and forth. 

I want to see what you care about so much if you lost it youíd die.  I want to hear what you dream about, what you believe to be your lifeís purpose, how you will build your business and help people with the profits you make.  I want to know if you think we are spiritual beings in a human body, what we can do together to stop genocide or smash poverty, what you are most afraid of, how you are going to change the world.

You see I love all that stuff, the big stuff. 

It occupies my mind much of the time.  It makes me feel fully alive when we talk about it and try to figure out what little - or massive - things we can learn, and put to work, to make the world better.

Picture credit:  Evil Erin

Oh yea, what I said about Wimbledon and the World Cup.

In the scheme of things, I donít really care about them, not really. 

But hey, if you talk with me, or we connect online or in person, or if you read Reallygood Thinking, youíll know I love banter! (And I suppose I must like World Cup based banter too  - I even made a video post full of it (football banter!) especially for Jordan Cooper of NotAProBlog.com so there!) 

Because, though I crave the deeper things, love exploring tough questions, and thrive on discussing stuff for which there appear to be no conclusive answers, I respect the fact that often, to get to that good stuff, we have to be generous enough to allow folk chance to express themselves at the level thatís initially most comfortable for them.

Thatís one thing thatís taken me a few decades to learn.

It doesnít matter that I donít care much about watching, even less talking about, tennis or football, Ďcos I do care about people.  That means Iíll do my best to respect them, and try to figure out how we can make real connections.  And if it has to start with a chat about USA v. Ghana, England v. Germany, Serena Williams v. Vera Zvonareva, or Rafael Nadal v. Andy Murray, then Iím OK with that, letís do it!

But Iíve got to be honest with you, if it doesnít quickly get much deeper than a Britney Spears lyric, I ainít gonna be hanginí out with you for long.  To keep the conversation at that level would be as enjoyable for me as a whack in the nuts with my sonís cricket bat. 

So I canít dis my DNA. 

Iím passionate about the big stuff right to my core, and I ainít gonna stop thinking about it, talking about it, and trying to let it shape my business and life. 

No, not for anyone.

You see Iím on a mission: 

Iím looking for the big ideas I can use to make the world better.  I think Iíve found some and I want to get them working hard.

Iím sure youíve got some too.

But we need people to inspire us and help us release our passion and purpose.  We need to find people to work with so together we can do even better stuff.

So my first big question to you: 

Have you got the balls (or whatever the equivalent female version is) to reveal the real you, to move beyond the superficial to something deeper and more meaningful, to reach out and make real connections?

And my second question:

Who can you connect with today, in person or online, to help you move closer to a real relationship that could really help you leap forward and make a difference in your life and biz?

Yip, it might scare the crap out of you, but what the heck (as far as I know we only live once right?  And anyway, you donít want to be in a comfortable fog do you?  Just do it!).

Anyway, please let me know how you get on.  Iím off to watch the tennis.

 

I really appreciate your taking the time to read this post.  Please let me know how you're forming deeper connections in biz and life. Much love, Ian.

 

Think Better.  Feel Better.  Take an Aspin.

 

Your comments:


1-3
Lee Haury says:
15/07/2010 14:32:12

"Everything is linked.... it's just finding those links!" is one of the most memorable things that anyone has ever said to me. Admittedly it was said during an MSc Management lecture, however it has stuck with me and I often refer back /turn to this during the times when I am thinking things through or trying to make sense of something. (The more I think about this the more I think it's very very true!) As you may be aware, this type of thing/thinking is making it's way more and more into business and has been branded/marketed as Emotional Intelligence. Courses are now springing up on the subject and similar to IQ, this can be measured, worked upon and improved. Everyone will be at their own level and have their own score in relation to this, however evidence suggests that the more successful people in business would score higher in EI. Again similar to IQ, there are different levels/ areas of this but in a nutshell it's about understanding how someone might be feeling and why and tailoring your approach/response to them accordingly. Companies have recognised this and can see how this has a direct correlation /linked to businesses and team(s) building and are measuring and training their employees and managers to this effect in the hope that it will bring greater success and results. Whilst an element of this is in the DNA, surely the majority has got to fall firmly in the nurture column as we need to be shown how to connect and build relationships with people and also the skills that are most effective in doing so. Training courses are all well and good, however if the basics haven't been sewn at a young age; it will be more difficult to achieve. I think that's where your "in ways that they feel most comfortable" comes in. And no, I don't consider myself to be particularly high in EI, I am having to work at it but it's very very rewarding once you become aware of it.
Ian Aspin says:
05/07/2010 23:51:18

Hiya Jon, thanks very much for talking the time to leave a comment. Perhaps you missed the part where I explain how it's helpful to connect with people in ways where they feel most comfortable? All the best, Ian.
Jon Geissel says:
04/07/2010 21:06:22

In only being interested in the Big Things you might miss the small things that make up the beautiful foundation of everything. If you listen only to Interesting People who have something Interesting to say you might miss the smile of a simple person. I dislike all sports, by the way. lol
1-3

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IAN ASPIN

  • Ian AspinLocation: Lancaster Lake District, UK
  • Bio: I’m passionate about my work:TV journalist, producer, presenter, business ideas person. I care about: family, friends, helping people, finding meaning, running